- Are you busy? - Yeah. No. I mean, I have, uh, time.
Come in. Why aren't you at school?
Swim meet, and my car pool's waiting for me and I'm really late,
but I have a huge favor to ask you.
I have this project for health class.
- This is my pretend baby. - Yeah, I've heard about this.
You lug a 5-pound sack of flour around like it's a baby
and after a while, it annoys you so much,
you never ever wanna get knocked up before marriage.
I think they're actually hoping I'll never ever have sex.
Right. So is it a boy or a girl?
- Boy. - How can you tell?
We all picked the genders out of a hat.
Oh, well, then we should give him a name.
Joaquin Winter Whedon.
I even made a birth certificate for him and everything.
Hello, Joaquin. That's a nice name.
- He's from Paraguay. - How did that happen?
- I was in the pretend Peace Corps. - Romantic.
Yeah, but now I'm a single mom and it's getting really hard.
- Wow, you have to get detailed about this. - Yeah.
[HORN HONKING]
I have to go.
Mom said that maybe you could drive Joaquin over to her office.
She promised to babysit and then forgot to take him with her this morning.
- Now I'm late and I don't have childcare. - What do I do?
You just write in this little baby journal
when you change him and pretend-feed him and stuff.
And it's really important to keep him on a schedule, okay?
It'll be practice for when I have to look after Olivia.
[HORN HONKING]
Yeah, I have to go. Thank you so much, Uncle Kevin.
KEVIN: Mm-hm.
That's Great Uncle Kevin to you.
[TOMMY GRUNTS]
- Did the alarm go off? - No, no.
I just want to spend a few minutes with you before you go to work.
[TOMMY GRUNTS]
Hopefully, I can do better than a few minutes.
ROSE: Mm.
NORA [ON RADIO]: We've been discussing fantasy vs. Reality with Dr. Felicity Milton...
- No. Oh, no. - Oh, gosh, I thought I set it on buzzer.
NORA: - Called What's So Great About Reality?
Before the break, we had a woman caller
whose fantasy is to run in a nude marathon.
Dr. Milton, you very much believe that people should act on their fantasies.
You see, that's what's so heartbreaking about the caller's dilemma.
One can only hope for her sake
that the world will become more open-minded.
Okay, let's take another call. We have Joe from Sacramento.
- Good morning, Joe. - Hi, Joe.
MAN [OVER PHONE]: I've been thinking about looking up an old girlfriend.
Ah, now, that is a perfect example of fantasy vs. Reality.
Perfect, Joe.
FELICITY: Could an old love from your past still harbor feelings for you?
- Or are you headed for one big letdown? - Uh-oh, Joe.
[IN FALSETTO VOICE] Abuela, did you miss me?
Very cute. Now take it off.
Why? Look, I stuffed the little arms and the hoodie with tissue.
Paige is way too invested in that baby already.
What's the point in having a fake baby if you can't dress it up?
What's the point of having a fake baby that doesn't poop, spit up or cry all night?
If all these kids do is carry them around and dress them in their little hoodies,
what kind of disincentive is that?
And why do I have to babysit it?
Aren't you the grumpy grandma. I think you should cut Paige a break.
She worked really hard building that water treatment plant in Paraguay.
So I turned on Mom's show in the car on the way over.
You would not believe the pervs calling in.
Don't sneeze at my pervs. They're very good for ratings.
FELICITY [ON RADIO]: Or are you headed for a letdown?
MAN [ON RADIO]: She was a good sport. I don't think she'd ever let me down.
- I haven't seen her in over 40 years. - Oh, my God.
MAN: I think there's a flame left in her... - What?
- ... That I could fan back to life. NORA [ON RADIO]: Forty years.
- Are you sure she still remembers you? - What?
MAN: A little birdie told me she still talks about me a lot.
Oh, God. Why is he calling her? He's not supposed to be calling her.
Tell me that is not Brody.
And please tell me you're not the little birdie.
- I'd recognize his voice anywhere. TOMMY: Sarah.
Oh, Kev, perfect timing. Rose made these. You'll eat them.
Eat Rose's cookie, Kevin.
- You think I'm gonna let this slide? SARAH: Kev...
KEVIN: Remember after her meltdown, she was gonna drop the Brody issue?
- Yeah. - She didn't. She tracked him down.
- Whoa, you met him? - Yes.
Well, after my brothers blew me off, I had to go find him for myself.
He's the manager of a semi-pro baseball team in Modesto.
- We talked briefly. - And?
And he confirmed that he's not my dad.
- That's all. It was no big deal. - Well, it's a big deal now.
FELICITY: Are you fantasizing about finding passion with your old lover again?
- No. MAN: Passion was never our problem.
- That's him? - Yeah.
How was I supposed to know he'd come sniffing around?
- Does Mom know that's him? - Maybe not.
MAN: So, what do you think? Should I call her?
Or should I drop in and surprise her?
FELICITY: How did things end with your lady?
MAN: Ahh, not great.
She was dating me and another guy and I kind of dropped the ball, so to speak.
Don't kid yourself. She knows.
TOMMY: This is perfect.
Mom's gonna get mad at you and Rose again.
And Rose is gonna freak out, she's gonna get mad at me.
Then I'm gonna have to run around and try to smooth things over.
Shh.
I don't know what my job title is here, but it's starting to feel a lot like referee.
We can talk about this later, but right now Mom is going off the air in five minutes.
We need to have a plan. I cannot get into this again with her.
I'm not sticking around for this. I can't deal with you two anymore.
No way, don't look at me. I'm an innocent bystander here.
Exactly. Mom's not gonna yell at you.
I really need you to stay here and smooth things over.
No way, absolutely...
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
Look, no. You forgot Joaquin!
MAN: I'm interested in hearing Nora Walker's opinion too.
You've been pretty quiet.
It's my opinion, Joe, that you're taking way too much for granted.
Sometimes these little birdies, they don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Never ever barge in on a former girlfriend unannounced.
You have to be respectful of their feelings. Women don't like to be surprised.
A handwritten letter's nice, a very nice gesture.
Wait a week or two, follow up with a phone call,
and don't leave Sacramento.
Don't leave Sacramento
unless you're absolutely positive she wants to see you again.
[CHUCKLING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Mom? KEVIN: No, it's me.
Oh, thank God. What are you doing here?
Someone forgot Joaquin.
Thank you so much.
- You really are a crappy grandmother. - No, you're being too nice.
I am a crappy daughter, a crappy sister,
a crappy mother and a crappy grandmother.
Yep. I suggest you go on a Global Apology Tour, starting with me.
Why? What did I do to you?
- Left me to clean up your mess with Mom. - Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
- Do you forgive me? - Nope.
Whoever it is, I'm sorry.
JUSTIN: Well, save it for Mom.
She just called me shrieking that you were talking trash about her to that Brody guy.
JUSTIN: I thought you were letting that go. - I am. I am letting it go, okay?
- Let's drop it. - Mom's not dropping it.
- She's upset. SARAH: She's overreact...
[RINGING]
SARAH: I will call her, I will calm her down.
- Hi, Mom. - Justin, I gotta go.
Sarah.
NORA [OVER PHONE]: Did you find her? - No.
- [MOUTHS] Thank you. - Tommy's not answering his phone.
- Why did he run off like that? - Tommy isn't ecstatic about things.
NORA: What things? - [MOUTHS] Thank you.
- Job things. NORA: Sarah is being too hard on him.
- That's another thing I wanna talk about. SARAH: Ow.
Tell her that I'm looking for her, all right? Oh, for God's sakes.
[HORN HONKING OVER PHONE]
What's all that honking?
[HORN HONKING]
KEVIN [OVER PHONE]: What's all that honking?
Some horse's patoot in his hideous gas-guzzling motor home
is practically blocking my driveway.
Jeez. What is wrong with people?
- What did she say? - She's having road rage.
That anyone would just do this. You're not allowed to in this area. Aah!
KEVIN: Is everything all right? NORA: Oh, God.
There's a big dog running loose.
Oh, jeez.
For God's sakes.
Hello.
Hello. You know what? You're gonna have to move this monstrosity.
KEVIN: Mom, what is it? - Oh, my God.
KEVIN: What? NORA: It's him.
KEVIN: Who? Who? - He's here.
- He's been here all along. KEVIN: Brody? Uh-oh.
- What? - You are so dead.
Hey, Slugger.
You just show up out of the blue?
I would have thought you might have grown out of this behavior by now.
Come on, it's not like I climbed your downspout in the middle of the night
and accidentally knocked on your mother's window.
[NORA LAUGHS THEN GROANS]
She still thinks we were hit by a cat burglar.
- She sleeps with her pathetic jewelry... - Nice.
You know what? That's not the point.
And this wasn't out of the blue, Nora. I was encouraged.
Look, I have no idea what Sarah said to you,
but you have completely the wrong impression.
I don't need or want my flames fanned.
- So you haven't been talking about me? - God, no, no.
I mean, your name came up in conversation once, that's all.
It must've been a hell of a conversation.
She wanted to know if I was her father.
Where did she get that idea?
From the Internet. She got it from the Internet.
And there was that whole mix-up with her birth certificate and everything.
And then, well, we've had a few paternity issues in this family.
So naturally she just jumped to the wrong conclusion.
I get what you mean.
I always had a hunch William was the type to cheat.
No. God, no.
God, no, William was a wonderful, wonderful man, God rest his soul.
We had 40 years of spectacular marriage without a single issue.
Congratulations. That's a good run.
I couldn't put together ten years between two wives.
Because your priority was never marriage and children, was it?
Well, that didn't take long.
All these years and you're still holding that against me.
What exactly are you talking about?
Baseball. I'm talking about baseball.
Look, don't flatter yourself.
I am thrilled, thrilled with how my life turned out.
Good for you. I'm glad.
And are you thrilled with how your life turned out?
It's had its ups and downs.
But it's not over yet.
[DOG BARKING OUTSIDE]
Oh. There's Lily. Finished with her business.
You don't mind if she comes in, do you?
NORA: Well, only for a second. I've got an appointment here.
Uh-oh. You just fertilized your garden, didn't you?
- And she loves manure. Don't you, girl? - Oh...
MAN: Copy that, Control. This is 923. We're on the scene.
Let's take a look.
- Okay, you know where you are? - Yep.
- You mind telling me? - Vista Hermosa Park.
- Okay, who's the president? ZACH: What country?
Don't get fancy. I just wanna make sure you don't have a concussion.
That's no fun. Name a country.
Okay, um, Norway.
Norway doesn't have a president. It's a constitutional monarchy.
Oh, all right. Jarhead, huh?
Semper fee-fi-fo-fum.
- Iraq? ZACH: Afghanistan.
- Oh, I did a tour in Kandahar. - Gosh, we're practically brothers.
Well, brother, it looks like you're gonna need some stitches.
You've got a awful lot of grit in there. What did the guy hit you with?
See that tree?
- Yeah. ZACH: That.
He jumped me out of nowhere.
How's the other guy? You're missing a lot of skin off your knuckles.
- Maybe I got a swing in or two. - Looks like more than a swing.
People sneak up on me, I'm gonna defend myself.
I'm gonna put some pressure on this.
Can you walk to the ambulance by yourself?
Well, I feel a little lightheaded.
Maybe if you give me a 60-pound pack and I slung a buddy over my shoulder,
I could make it.
ROSE: What did Nora say? Is she mad at me?
I didn't have a chance to talk to her yet.
Why did you have to go and find him?
Why did you have to tell me that he might be my father?
- Well, is he? - No.
But I had to go find that out for myself. But no, no, he's not.
- Oh, God. - Sarah, what are you doing here?
I told you I didn't wanna get involved in this.
Tommy, things have gotten a little more complicated.
Kevin's gone over there to suss out the situation.
- What situation? - Brody is at Mom's.
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
And now I've gotta go over there and apologize.
- I thought I should warn you. - Okay, I'm warned.
SARAH: No, and one more thing, Tommy, please.
I heard through the grapevine that you're not happy at work.
Maybe I've been a little hard on you.
That's not the problem, okay? I mean, let's face facts.
I don't know the first thing about the media business.
I don't see a place for me there.
We're probably better off moving back to Seattle.
No, don't say that. That is not an option. Do you understand me?
Honey, honey, if you are not happy, you know, we should talk about it.
Excuse me. Tommy, we can work this out.
We can. Besides, Mom loves you two being here.
She wants you to get married, give her lots of grandchildren.
Well, that's not gonna happen any time soon.
I love Seattle. I'm happy to go back.
Don't make any rash decisions. We can figure this out, okay?
- His happiness is most important... SARAH: Would you...?
- Stop, stop. - Would you please let me...?
Please.
I haven't made up my mind. I just wanna think about it.
Tommy.
Look at all these burners.
One thing about the motor home, I miss cooking.
You could run a restaurant with this setup.
And you could change the climate with that motor home.
I love how you still get all indignant
if somebody breaks the Nora Holden Rules of Conduct.
Walker. Walker.
Un-knit your knickers, Mrs. Walker.
I drive the motor home back and forth to road games.
It's cheaper than a motel and Lily can come with me.
KEVIN: Hi.
- Hi, I'm Kevin. - Hey, Nick Brody.
- Nice meeting you. - Nice to meet you.
And who are you?
BRODY: That's Lily.
She's so sweet. How old is she?
- Fourteen. KEVIN: She doesn't look 14.
I miss having a dog.
We used to have one when we were kids, Bingo, but it got hit by a car.
- Ooh. - Dad refused to let us get another one.
What? That's just not true.
Your father was brokenhearted when we lost Bingo.
He just didn't feel emotionally up to being able to do that again.
Well, that didn't keep him from getting a little toy poodle for Holly.
- Is Holly one of your kids? KEVIN: Ha!
No, um, no. She was an old maiden aunt of William's.
- He loved her very much. - Oh, yeah, I'll say.
Why do I feel that there's more to that story?
Well, there's not. She's dead. That's the end of that.
And I hate to break this up, but I have an appointment.
What do you mean? I only just got here.
It was great meeting you. Maybe I'll see you tonight.
Don't you wanna get on the road? You don't wanna get stuck in traffic.
My engine's been a little balky,
so I'm gonna change the plugs and tighten the belts and...
I promise not to spill any oil on your pretty Pasadena street, Nora.
- Ha, ha. Come on, Lil. - See you later.
BRODY: Yup.
- I like him. - You don't like him.
You just like watching me squirm.
Well, I am a little surprised with the Saint William pretense.
Shh. It's none of his business.
I don't want him standing around here judging me.
Well, how long does it take to tighten his plugs and change his belts?
If I know Brody, it takes as long as he wants it to take.
- Do you really have an appointment? - No, I don't have an appointment.
[DOOR CLOSES]
BRODY: Hey, look who's here.
Hi, Brody. Nice to see you.
A bit of warning would've been nice.
I was on my way to a game down in San Diego and I thought, "Why not?"
SARAH: Ah.
- And I did call. SARAH: That's right, you did.
You did, indeed. From the driveway.
Well, I thought spontaneity was a virtue in this family.
Especially after you dropped in on me at my office.
- Ah, yes. BRODY: Crostini?
Thank you.
You know, my mother does not generally permit other cooks in her kitchen.
I didn't ask permission.
- Did you bring that nice dog of yours? - Lily?
Yeah, she's out in the RV.
- Oh, this is good. - Mm, I told you.
[NORA CLEARS THROAT]
- Hi. - Well, look what blew in.
A little birdie.
I'm, uh, just gonna keep this warm.
And I'll go get Lily.
SARAH: Wonderful.
Wow, Mom, look at this incredible dinner. Isn't this great?
[DOOR CLOSES]
Is that it? Is that your opening gambit?
You think I'm gonna be mollified with a dinner?
Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I had no idea he would just...
- What did you tell him about your father? - Nothing.
Just that he was dead.
So he just showed up?
I guess that's all he needed to hear.
Maybe you should be flattered.
No, seriously, Mom. Think about it.
He's nice, he's kind to animals, he's very attractive
and, oh, boy, can he cook.
[NORA GROANS]
Sarah, God, I am not remotely attracted to him. He is not my type.
I'm just saying that he was your type once.
Ah. You... Oh, my...
I was 19 years old.
I had not a clue in my head who I was or what I wanted out of my life.
And people move on. Sarah, they just move on.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
- Hey, Paigey. How did you do? - I came in third.
Oh, my God, that's fantastic.
So when are you guys getting home?
I wanna feed Joaquin and read him a story.
Um, yeah.
Listen, sweetie, I might be stuck here for a while.
Something's come up. But he's great.
I changed him, I fed him, burped him.
He's really happy, so don't wait up, baby. You must be exhausted.
Mom, I have to spend time with my baby.
SARAH: No, I know, honey, I'm just, um...
I'll be home as soon as I can, okay?
Bye. Oh, God.
- I lost him. - Who?
Joaquin.
- Joaquin? - Tommy's.
Yes. Yes, I must have left him at Tommy's.
Who the hell is Joaquin?
WOMAN: First time here? MAN: Yeah.
Look, believe me, I get it.
But there has to be some alternative to moving back to Seattle, right?
I mean, at least give it a chance here.
Well, Sarah called me with some great project.
Supposed to turn my life around.
- That's good, right? - I don't know.
I guess if it keeps the peace, maybe I'll do it.
I know you don't wanna hear this,
but it wouldn't hurt if you went over there and allayed Mom's fears a little.
She's already wigging out that Brody parked his RV in her driveway.
I hope that's not a euphemism.
No. I don't think there's any chance of that happening.
If the RV's rocking, it's because Mom's trying to blow it up.
Well, I have to go there tomorrow and return Joaquin to Sarah.
You've met Joaquin?
- Yeah. He's out in my car. - By himself?
Well, he was sleeping so soundly, I didn't wanna wake him up.
NORA: You know, this was so good, but a lot of it.
So I really insist that you take some of it with you.
Nora, that's the biggest damn refrigerator I've ever seen in my life.
- You keep them. - Well...
You're a good cook, Brody.
Oh, I've taken it upon myself to teach the boys on my team
the finer points of Southern Mediterranean cuisine.
So I guess you pretty much love what you're doing.
Well, it's not hitting.400 in the majors, but baseball is baseball.
I love the game.
- I know that. - So do you, as I recall.
No, no, no, I only went there to watch you play.
Oh, come on.
I remember you pestering the hell out of me to let you into the batting cage.
You may have a fuzzy memory of that after the bean ball you took.
Oh, my God, yes.
- I remember that very well. - You refused to wear a helmet.
- I didn't want helmet hair. - Ha, ha.
If you remember, though, before that happened, I was pretty damn good.
- You were. You had a natural swing. - I was. I had a natural swing.
That's when I started calling you Slugger.
Right.
You know, I think I'll walk Lily around the neighborhood before I turn in.
- Wanna join us? - No.
- I have a book waiting for me upstairs. - Okay.
Brody, look, I...
Nora, I'm gonna take some very good advice
I received today from a wise person on the radio.
I'm not gonna take anything for granted.
And I'm gonna be respectful of your feelings.
I cooked this dinner to thank you for letting me park in front of your house for a while.
I don't have any agenda other than that.
Okay?
- Okay. - Yeah.
Good night.
BRODY: Hey. Hey.
Hey. Come on.
[GASPING]
Nora, Nora, it's me. Don't scream.
What are you doing? How did you get in here?
- I'm sorry. The key was under the mat. - I thought you said you had no agenda.
I don't. Lily was sick to her stomach.
So I let myself into the kitchen to make her a little rice to eat.
And then why are you up here?
[SIGHS]
NORA: Oh, my God. What's she doing?
I was at the stove, and I turned around just in time to see her going up the stairs.
She's been up pacing all night.
I guess she was looking for a quiet place to rest.
Are you sure you don't train her to do this?
I swear, I'm not that hard up.
- Oh. That, I trained her to do. - Yeah.
She looks like she wants to stay with you.
Well, she can stay here, but you cannot.
We've never spent a night apart.
So I'm going to sleep downstairs on your sofa.
So in case she needs me...
Good night, Brody.
Night, old girl. Be good.
I'm gonna assume you're not talking to me.
Night, Slugger.
Hmm.
PAIGE: Mom? This isn't my baby! - Uh-oh.
What is going on? I can't believe you did this.
Paige, stop shouting. Luc and Cooper are still asleep.
Did you really think you could fool me with this off-brand baby?
Look, I got in late, I didn't wanna wake you and have you worry,
so I just got the one out of the pantry.
Where is Joaquin?
At Grandma's, I think.
- Wait, you think? - I know. He is. He's fine.
Did you even feed him last night?
Paige, he's fine. It's not even 7. He's probably still asleep.
Mom, this is serious.
Sweetheart, I had the most horrible day yesterday.
Everything I did was wrong.
If I could write in the mirror backwards,
I would scrawl "I'm sorry" on my forehead with a Sharpie just to save time.
Listen, we'll go over later to Grandma's and we'll feed him together, okay?
I have a soccer tournament in an hour and you're driving the car pool.
Oh, God, I completely forgot.
Okay, you go upstairs, get dressed,
and we'll just use this bag as Joaquin's stand-in until we pick him up later.
That's cheating.
Oh, come on, Paige.
This baby's white, all-purpose, weighs 5 pounds.
Hmm? That's all that matters.
FYI, Mom, as if you cared, Joaquin is whole wheat.
[SIGHS]
JUSTIN: What's up, Zach?
How's the, uh...? How's the head?
It hurts.
Did you come here to check on my head?
No, I, uh...
Look, man.
I know a lot of us have had trouble adjusting to civilian life,
but I don't think living in a park is the answer.
What, are you spying on me?
No, I'm not spying on you. I'm here to help.
I put in a few calls to the VA to see about getting you into a program.
And what did they tell you?
I know it's a drag, but if you put your name on a list...
I've been on a list for a year.
They stopped putting names on the list because it never moves.
There are no programs for me.
They told me three months, six months tops.
That's if I have a drug problem. They have programs for that.
But I don't have a drug problem. I have a place-to-sleep problem.
I considered getting a drug problem, but I don't really like drugs
and I'd have to steal things to pay for them,
which could solve my place-to-sleep problem,
only jail isn't a good option for me.
But thanks for trying.
- It's a screwed-up system, but... - You can't help.
Don't be so sure. If your issue's a place to sleep, Zach, I know...
You know what, bro?
You could end up with some issues of your own if you don't get out of my face!
You understand my problem now?
I'm not afraid of your problem.
She used to chase grounders for hours, but she's lost interest.
- How old is she? - Fourteen.
Longest relationship with a female I ever had.
- And the most successful. - Ha, ha.
Well, you're a luckier man than I am.
My ex-wife will only speak to me
to tell me when and where I'm allowed to see my daughter.
- Thought about getting a dog? - I don't know.
I mean, we're living at my sister's, so first we need to find a place of our own,
and there's this little issue of employment.
- What line of work are you in? - The honest truth?
- I'm not sure. - Hmm.
I mean, the guy's seriously smart and he's a decorated soldier.
I guess when he got out, he couldn't adjust.
Well, if I was shot at for years, I'd have anger issues too.
I mean, if you're not vigilant every moment, you just...
- You get yourself killed. - You think?
- Now, how do you just turn that off? - You don't, you know?
You just learn to manage it.
If I didn't have you guys, maybe I'd be in the same boat.
Aw.
- Stop. - So, what are you gonna do for this guy?
I'm gonna try and find him a place to live. Maybe he can get rid of his other problems.
- The guy's just had bad luck. - Sounds like that's about to change.
[DOOR OPENS]
JUSTIN: Hey. - Oh, God, not you too.
Nice to see you, Mom.
Don't pretend for one single minute you're here to see me.
You and your ex-beau, who, by the way, just showed me the motor home.
Ma, have you seen it? It's off the hook.
Oh, God. I'll tell you, I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing.
Luckily, he's going tomorrow, so no more dirty looks from the neighbors.
Okay, I need you to fill in Joaquin's baby book.
"Four p.m., fed bottles. Six p.m., changed diaper.
Eight p.m., went to sleep," in your handwriting.
- Is this cheating? - No, quick, before Paige comes back.
- Oh, for God's sakes. - You know, stop. Get your own.
This... That's my plate. Make yourself one.
Oh, Mom, these muffins are really good.
I didn't bake them. Brody did.
- I knew I'd love that guy. - He's a really good cook.
- Oh, for goodness' sakes. Oh. SARAH: Mm.
[JUSTIN CLEARS THROAT]
Mom, I really want a dog.
SARAH: How was your walk? Nice? - Very successful.
Mom, I'm serious about a dog.
Considering our record with the fake baby, I'm not sure we're ready for a live animal.
Don't call him a fake baby.
- His name is Joaquin. - Sorry.
Why do you have a fake baby named Joaquin?
- School project. - Oh.
TOMMY: Hey. NORA: Oh. Hi, guys.
Wow, I didn't expect to see everybody here.
Well, evidently, Brody is a very big draw.
Yeah. Look, Mom, I need to talk to you about something,
but I don't want you to get upset.
- I'm gonna leave you to your discussion. - No, you don't have to go.
No, I'm gonna see if I can get Lily to eat some more of this rice.
- You've got things to talk about. - Dinner's at 7.
BRODY: See you later. Come on, girl.
What, Tommy? What? What's happening?
Brace yourself.
- I got a job. - Ha, ha. Great.
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be the business manager of a baseball team.
JUSTIN: That's great. - Oh, God. Did Brody set this up?
- Yeah. - Well, where is it?
- In Phoenix. ROSE: I spent all afternoon
- trying to talk him out of it. NORA: What happened to making an offer
- he couldn't refuse? - I had no idea...
Stop. Stop. I've already made up my mind. I'd really appreciate some support.
[PAIGE SCREAMS]
SARAH: Paige, are you okay?
Who did this?
Oh. You gave me a heart attack.
The muffins.
Oh, God. Brody. Brody must have...
PAIGE: My God, I ate one. - What's wrong with the muffins?
Listen, honey, I can fix this thing, but we're just in the middle of something...
You can't fix this. You ruined it.
Please tell me what is going on with the muffins.
I had four of them.
Justin, could you just go talk to Paige?
- She'll explain everything. JUSTIN: She's gonna explain the muffins?
- Yes, just... JUSTIN: Paige.
Tommy, listen, you can't hang your future on Brody.
- It's not about him. - It is about him. God, it is.
Sarah, if you hadn't stuck your nose in where it didn't belong,
none of this would have happened.
My God, here we go. It's all my fault. Except let's not forget, Mom,
that this whole thing happened because you lied about your wedding date
to hide the fact that you were knocked up when you were 19 and unmarried.
- Ahem. Sarah. - Oh, God.
Grandma, you got pregnant?
Sweetheart, listen.
- Oh... SARAH: Paige.
Paige.
Look, Tommy, please don't jump into this. Please listen to me.
- No, Mom. - What? You wanna end up like him?
What? Do something I love?
Oh, God. I can't let him do this again. Ugh.
Brody!
- Brody! - Oh, thank God, Nora.
- I didn't want my son to leave. - Drive me.
- Lily is sick. I can't wake her up. - I need you to leave now.
I think she's dying.
I know you didn't sign up for this move and it's out of the blue,
but I think we can make it work.
I want you to be happy, Tommy.
I just wish I knew what you wanted.
I know I want you to come with me.
But not if you think it's a mistake. If you do that, we'll both be unhappy.
I'll try.
You do what you want to.
Don't do it for me.
I love you and I wanna be with you.
I love you too.
[TWIG SNAPS AND ZACH GASPS]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Just me, just me.
What's up with you, man? What...?
Don't you know you could get killed doing that?
What? I knocked, but you didn't answer, so...
Ahem. Move over.
Don't. Don't be stupid.
Indulge me. I'm having a flashback.
You Marines never leave a buddy on the battlefield, right?
What is wrong with you, seriously?
Look, you came home with problems, I came home with problems.
I'm still not exactly sure why we're getting shot at and blown up over there,
but it's certainly not so I can sleep in a warm bed in my own house
while you sleep out here.
So unless you help me figure out a way to help you,
then I'm here for the duration, all right?
How is she?
She made it through the surgery. They got the tumor.
And he said dogs can get along fine without their spleens.
Oh, thank God. I'm so relieved.
BRODY: You should go.
I'm gonna stay, wait for her to wake up.
Well, that's okay. I'll wait with you.
Just so you know, I didn't cook up anything for Tommy's benefit.
That team really did need a good business manager.
Look, I just want him to be happy. He's been through so much.
He seems like a nice guy.
You did a good job with him.
Then why does he keep leaving?
Some of us just can't stay put.
WOMAN: Tiger? MAN: Be right there.
Brody, why are you here?
When Sarah came to see me
and introduced herself as Nora Walker's daughter,
for a split second, I was afraid she was there to tell me that you had died.
And in that moment, I...
I thought about all my regrets
and all the times I wanted to look you up and didn't.
Thought I'd lost my chance.
So I, heh...
I decided it was now or never.
You have regrets?
Well, my baseball career didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped.
But if I'd given up that dream and gotten married,
I would have made your life miserable.
And now that I've seen you, I realize I made the right decision.
You married the right guy.
William was a good husband. You got everything you wanted.
[CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, I got the family I wanted. - Mm.
But William was not a good husband.
You were right, he was a cheater.
He had multiple affairs, a long-term mistress.
He lied and embezzled and...
He hurt a lot of people, including me.
Why didn't you tell me?
Because I didn't want you to know
I had regrets.
- I never liked him. - Heh, heh. I know that.
You two were as different as two people could possibly be.
Still are.
Well, given that he's dead, I like my chances better now.
Brody, you are the same guy now you were back then.
You're just passing through, looking for the next game.
And I have to tell you that I'm not the same little girl.
BRODY: Sure you are.
Just older. And wiser.
I've only managed half of that, but I'm working on it.
Paige, listen. Things were very different back then.
So do you wish you'd used birth control?
NORA: Well...
- Um... - I can't help you there.
Well, you know, that's hard to answer, because I gave birth to your mother
and I love your mother very much.
So, you see, it all turned out beautifully.
So then you're glad you got pregnant?
SARAH: Listen, Paige, I'm sure it's been a shock
to find out that your grandmother was an unwed pregnant teen.
But this is just not a situation that we expect to find you in.
You have so many opportunities. You're a smart girl.
We've talked about this so many times.
Perhaps we shouldn't dwell on any mistakes that Grandma might have made.
Why, thank you, Sarah.
I think Paige realizes that sometimes people make mistakes.
PAIGE: Well, just so you guys know,
I'm not even gonna think about having a family
until I've finished with college and graduate school and I have a career.
NORA: You don't wanna wait too long.
Sometimes as you get older, fertility problems can crop up.
SARAH: Mom. Mm-mm. NORA: You know what?
Paige is going to do whatever is right for her.
Great. Then can I go finish my homework now?
- Sure, honey. And take your tea. - Okay.
- Bye. PAIGE: Love you, Grandma.
NORA: I love you.
I am sorry, Mom. I never meant for her to hear all that.
I just... I blurted it out. I was so mad at you.
It's all right, Sarah.
Is there anyone else I'm supposed to apologize to?
- Joaquin, maybe. - Oh, yeah. I feel bad about him.
We're gonna drive down all the time for games.
We should get one of those big land yachts that Brody has,
park it out front of Mom's when we're not using it.
- Ha, ha. - Say goodbye to her yet?
Yeah, she's still pretty miffed, but she tried to put on a good face.
Where'd you get these muffins? They're amazing.
- Brody made them. I've had like a dozen. - Yeah, nobody else wanted any
when they found out the main ingredient was powdered Joaquin.
[TOMMY CHUCKLES]
[KEVIN COUGHS]
- This is Joaquin? - Uh, yeah. What's the big deal?
You had to know him, I guess.
- Uh, fine. More for me. TOMMY: Yeah, and me.
Can you put a few in a bag?
Hey, look, we're gonna go say goodbye to Sarah. You wanna come with?
Uh, no, no. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night,
so I'm gonna crash for a few hours.
- All for a good cause. - It seems like a lost cause.
JUSTIN: I'm gonna pack this up for you.
- I'll walk you out. - All right.
Hey, you know, Brody's leaving today too.
I hate to say, it's sad, but I'm gonna miss him.
KEVIN: Justin. - Yep?
Zach.
Oh, my God. Come in, come in.
This is... These are my brothers. This is Tommy, this is Kevin, this is Zach.
TOMMY & KEVIN: Hey. - Hey.
- Is this a bad time? - No. No. Not at all.
- Come on in. You're just in time for chow. - We're gonna go.
JUSTIN: Sure, all right. TOMMY: Good to see you, bye.
Tommy. Here you go.
Come on in. You hungry?
- Yeah, sure. - Great, all right.
Got some muffins.
Well, it's very cozy. I can see why you like it so much.
Wanna take a spin around the block?
- No, thank you. - I'll let you drive.
I don't wanna be booted out of the Sierra Club.
Yeah, because their parties are so much fun.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Well, have a safe trip.
- Good luck. - You too, Nora.
It was great seeing you.
Great seeing you too.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[HORN TOOTING]
- Mom? - Yeah?
There you are. Ah.
Wow, it's so quiet with Brody gone.
He's kind of larger than life, isn't he?
I like the quiet.
Cabernet Sauvignon, '93.
[NORA CHUCKLES]
- So how did you two leave things? - What things?
You know, your relationship. Do you think you'll see each other again?
Look, if there's one thing I know about Brody,
you can't count on him for anything ever, much less to show up.
When he drives off, that may be the very last time you ever see him.
Oh, I hope not.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
Yeah?
Really? Okay.
Okay, good. Bye.
- Who's that? - Brody.
Well, that didn't take long. What did he want?
Tuna fish.
Why would he want tuna fish?
Well, apparently she likes it.
Lily.
She needed bed rest.
Yeah, I wonder if we'll ever see Brody again.
You just never know with him, do you?
Shut up and open the tuna fish.
Thank you.